I'm picking out a thermos for you

Talk like a pirate day

2006-09-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm obsessed... but today, I have a reason: it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

And might I suggest that you get your own pirate name?? I already got mine, matey:

Jjimjilbang-ing

2006-08-08T23:32:00.000-07:00

As promised, I spent last weekend in Science City, Daejeon. While I didn't take advantage of any of the science-related activities, I still had a great time.

The weekend got off to an inauspicious start when I met my friend D. at the Seoul train station at precisely 7:30 in the pm. We were excited to take the KTX bullet train down to Daejeon - a quick 50 minute jaunt. I hadn't made reservations, because my coworkers had assured me that there were always plent of seats. The trains leave every ~20 min, so why wouldn't there be 2 open seats?

Holiday season, that's why! August is officially vacation month in Korea, and like many countries, nearly every Korean wants to live in the big city, near all the convenience and excitement of urban life, yet no one who lives in Seoul wants to spend their holiday there. Meaning they are all at the train station on the first Friday night of vacation season. All 12 million of them...

So there weren't any open seats on the KTX bullet train. And there weren't any seats on the saemaul middle-class train, either. Which meant that we were on the mugunghwa, the 3rd class train. Cheap? Yes. Efficient? No.

But at least we could relax and sit down, right? Not having been on a train in Korea before, we assumed there was open seating, first come, first served. That's how it is in Europe and on Southwest Airlines, right? Open seating? Well, not so much on the mugunghwa, since we quickly learned that we had bought "standing room only" tickets!!! Sweet. Apparently, we were lucky even to be standing on the mugunghwa. And really, there's nothing better to do on a Friday night than standing through a painfully slow train ride to Daejeon, watching while the bullet train whizzes by at 180 mph.

It all turned out for the best, however. My friend D. went looking for open seats, and although he didn't find any seats, he did return with some welcome news: there were other Americans on the train. And they were drinking beer! And they had asked us to join them! Cool. Of course, I assumed that these Americans were sitting down in seats. Wrong. You know the platform in between cars? The place without air conditioning where you only stand on your way to and from the bathroom? That's where they were hanging out.

But it was actually a lot of fun. If you're stranded on a slow train to Daejeon, you might as well make the most of it by standing in between cars, sweating to death, and drinking bad Korean beer.

Once we finally got into Daejeon, we met up with James and Eric, who had rounded up several locals for a night out. After hanging out for a while at a chill place called the "Beer Cabin," we decided to venture out into downtown Daejeon.

But we weren't really feeling the club scene, so we did the next best thing: batting cages! Seriously - what's cooler than batting cages that are open all night long? And check out that form! It's the swing that begat a thousand singles...

Anyway, on Saturday we visited Gyeryongsan National Park on the outskirts of Daejeon for some hiking, which is the favorite outdoor pasttime of Koreans. Well, elderly Koreans anyway - we were about the only twenty-somethings out hiking except for a couple from Denmark.

There are really only two words to describe this hike: steep and sweaty. I've done some decently hard hikes in my day, but this was incredible - just straight up. Thankfully, the trail was pretty short, so the hike wasn't so tough, but it was a lot more difficult than we had imagined a ~4 mile roundtrip could be. Thankfully, we avoided both the incoming rain (we heard thunder the entire way down, but only got sprinkled upon) and the rapidly advancing nightfall (finishing up just as the light was dying).

And after that hike, we needed some relaxation, so we visited some of the aptly-named bars of Daejon:

OK, I didn't actually go into either one of these bars, but they've still got sweet names, huh?

And finally on Sunday, we got to rest our weary mucles at the jjimjilbang, or Korean spa.

To call this place a "spa" is an understatement. We were a little confused when we pulled up, because the jjimjilbang was located in a 7-story building, but we weren't sure which floor it was on. Turns out, it was on all of the floors. That's right, the spa takes up an entire 7-story building!

For an entry fee of a mere 5,000 won (~$5), we visited the sauna - four rooms of varying temperatures, each decorated with a different theme. Then we checked out the "ice room," which has walls covered in real ice. And then we got a snack at the snack bar. And checked our e-mail at the PC bang. And took in the view of Daejeon from the rooftop patio. And then finally soaked in the hot and cold whirlpools.

And we didn't even scratch the surface - we neglected the noraebang (karaoke room), the restaurant, the gym, the swimming pool (complete with a slide), the Playstation 2 room, the massage tables, and (best of all) the sleeping rooms. Yes, sleeping rooms - at least 4 of them, by my count, including the basic sleeping room, the communal sleeping room, and the "cave" sleeping room where you can crawl into a little hole for privacy during your nap.

There weren't too many people sleeping there on Sunday afternoon, but we learned later that a lot of Korean businessmen will go out and get very drunk on Saturday night, and rather than return home (where they will probably get yelled at by their wives), they go sleep it off at the jjimjilbang. How relaxing! If we had known better, we would have spent the night there, too, just for the experience.

Did I mention this was only $5? You pay a little extra for some of the amenities, but still - $5? What a jjimjilbanging deal!

You can take the boy out of America...

2006-08-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

... but you can't take him away from P-town!

Sighted near my dorm:

But I don't think they have WaWa here.

Retired: the Korean Tank Top Alarm

2006-08-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

There are many signs that mark the transitions between seasons. For Winter, it's the first snow. For Spring, the first flowers. And Summer? Tank tops.

In St. Louis, some have even heard the "Tank top alarm," which heralds the arrival of summer with, yes, an alarm when the first tank top of summer appears.

But there will be no Korean tank top alarm! Because the height of women's fashion here is the Bolero, which is basically a small sweater for your shoulders. (I'm not sure if they're named after Ravel.)

Truthfully, to say that Bolero's represent the height of women's fashion is incorrect. Actually, they're a gesture towards Korean modesty: it's apparently too risqué for a woman to show her bare shoulders.

Hence, even though women wear tank tops, you won't see them, no matter how hot and humid it gets, thanks to the Bolero. Similar to the Bolero, you also find that most women's t-shirts here have tiny sleeves that cover their shoulders. Kind of an interesting insight into what different cultures consider immodest.

And for those of you who are wondering how I got such a great Bolero photo... yes, I did take a picture of some random woman on the street without her knowledge. Kind of creepy, huh? Taking pictures of people you don't know for your blog? It seems that some of that world-renowned Caltech creepiness is rubbing off on me!!!

In other news:
Tourist swims with Biondi (kind of)
In the past, I've made a point to swim in the pools that hosted the Olympics whenever I visit a host city. So far, I've hit Munich ('72), Los Angeles ('84), Barcelona ('92), and Atlanta ('96). Yes, kind of dorky, I know. Anyway, being in Seoul presented the perfect opportunity:
So last Sunday, I went for a swim with Matt Biondi. OK - Biondi wasn't actually there, but it was the same pool where he won five golds, one silver, and one bronze medal in 1988. The pool itself is getting a little shabby (I learned later that it's set to be renovated next year), but it's clear that it was state-of-the-art in '88.

But, of course, you can't go swimming in a foreign country without something weird happening (i.e. in France one time, I wasn't allowed to wear my own swimsuit - I had to rent a suit. Everyone rents their swimsuits at the stupid French pool in Lyon.) So, when I walked onto the deck, I immediately realized what rule I was ignorant of here in Seoul: everyone was wearing swim caps. Everyone. And I didn't have one.

While doing some casual stretching, I could tell the lifeguards were all watching me, probably thinking to themselves, 1) what's the white guy doing here?, and 2) he's a threat to public health witout a swim cap! Finally, one of the lifeguards wandered over to ask, Where's your cap? I explained that I didn't have one, but that I'd be happy to buy or rent one.

But instead, he offered to lend me his cap. Wow - how kind. People were not this friendly to the ignorant foreigner in France.

So I put in a 3,000 BE (tell Beef-man that I'm getting ready for the test set!) and it was great fun. At least people here know how to circle swim, unlike everyone at say, Caltech. Next stop on my Olympic pool tour: Sydney.

Science City
It's unbelievable how fast my time here has passed, and I'm quickly coming up on the end. To celebrate one of my last weekends in Korea, I'm taking a trip to the Science City, Taejon (it's where they've built most of the national labs, not unlike NIH in Bethesda). More importantly, it's also where my friends Eric and James live, and judging from the fact that they don't update their blogs anymore, they must be having a good time down there.

I'm quite looking forward to taking the bullet train (~200 mph) down there, and if I'm not too busy at work next week (my last), I'll provide an update on the hijinx that are sure to ensue.

English Words on a T-shirt Update

Spotted on a middle-aged woman who was asleep in the subway: "My other t-shirt is on your girlfriend." Oh, snap!
Seen near campus on a typically black-haired Asian girl: "Naturally Blonde."

And if anyone is still reading, I'm glad to see that my home state has regained a measure of sanity.

The MT

2006-07-29T04:31:00.000-07:00

No, not that MT!

In Korea, an MT is "membership training," rather than your former swim coach.

As my time here approaches its end, my professor insisted that it was time for the lab to have an MT. At first, I thought this was a lab-specific term for some arcane hazing ritual that I would have to endure; however, I learned from a Korean friend that the "MT" is actually a common Korean tradition, whereby a group of Koreans goes on a retreat outside of the city to drink too much, sing at a noraebang, and then sleep off their collective hangover.

And, in a nutshell, that's exactly what happened on this "MT." Originally, we were going somewhere outside of Seoul to stay in a traditional Korean village on Friday night and then do some hiking on Saturday morning... but, thanks to the infernal rain, we ended up staying in the city, actually at a youth hostel near the Seoul tower. Which was quite an experience, since all the guys, professor and postdocs included, shared one big "youth" room - essentially 12 bunkbeds and one bathroom. One of my labmates said it reminded him of his time the Army. Sweet!

But before we crashed at the youth hostel, we went to the movies. In the afternoon, there were slim pickings - it basically came down to either Garfield or a Korean movie (without subtitles) 괴물 ("The Host"). And there was no frickin' way I was going to see Garfield... so I went to see 괴물, even though I figured I wouldn't figure out what was going on.

Before we went, my labmates told me the movie was about a monster. Lots of action, they promised. Sounds good, I thought! Well, let me give you the plot run-down:

An evil American orders a Korean lab technician to pour hundreds of gallons of formaldehyde in the Han River, despite the technicians protests that formaldehyde is very toxic.
Said formaldehyde generates a gigantic water monster. One random day, the monster decides he's had enough of eating fish and emerges from the river to start eating people. Yeah.
After eating his fill, the monster kidnaps a young, innocent Korean girl and takes her back to his lair.
Concerned that the monster might be spreading some kind of toxic virus, the American Army arrives to quarantine everyone exposed to the monster, including the distraught family of the kidnapped girl. Of course, there's no such virus - but for some unexplained reason, the Americans are overly paranoid and refuse to acknowledge the virus' non-existence despite the overwhelming evidence.
Thankfully, the little girl's family knows that she is alive back in the monster's lair because she calls them on her cell phone. (No Korean movie would be complete without using cell phones to advance the plot...) Despite their pleas, the little girl's father, aunt, and grandfather are kept under quarantine and not allowed to attempt the rescue of their baby.
Father, aunt, and grandfather stage a daring escape from quarantine by threatening American soldiers with a vial of "contaminated" blood.
The little girl's family eventually rescues the girl from the monster's lair, only to have to monster follow them back onto shore, where a huge battle ensues. The Koreans eventually defeat the monster by using Molotov cocktails made from soju bottles and some expert archery skills (the aunt happens to be an international archery star)
Unfortunately, immediately after killing the monster and saving the little girl, the evil Americans drop a bomb filled with toxic gas named "Agent Yellow," which is supposed to kill the virus. Of course, Agent Yellow kills the valiant, plucky little girl who had just been rescued.
Thankfully, a young boy who had also been kidnapped by the monster survives the Agent Yellow attack, so the family adopts the little boy and lives happily ever after.

So, the moral of the story is that horrible tragedies befall the Korean people because of the negligence and malevolence of the Americans. America is evil! I was half worried that I might become the victim of an anti-American hate crime after the movie, but somehow I escaped unharmed. But, hey, at least the action was good!

After the movie, we went to a traditional BBQ restaurant for bulgogi and galbi spare ribs - mmm... My first indication that it was going to be a rough night for my labmates was when my professor broke out the bottles of Scotch. And after the Scotch, he ordered beer. Which was followed by Korean ginseng wine. Which led to bottles of soju...

Before coming here, we were repeatedly told about how Koreans love drinking (some even refer to it as the Korean national pastime), but this was the first time I've actually seen my labmates really drink. It revealed a whole new side of them - of course, the people who are normally quiet and businesslike got the drunkest, including the new postdoc and one of the undergrads. It's also tradition that the professor takes one shot of alcohol with everyone... individually! So he was wandering around the dining room, pouring shots for each person and then doing one himself... (OK, he was only drinking 1/4-size shots, but still, with a group as large as this one, he still had to drink a lot of alcohol)

After dinner, we went to the obligatory Noraebang for some singing (I threw down some Blur, Pearl Jam, and Radiohead) and everyone continued drinking - and one by one, they started dropping. After a group of people had basically passed out in the noraebang, our professor finally told us that the "MT" had been successful and that everyone was welcome to continue, but that people were finally allowed to go home. Which I'm sure came as welcome news to those who were already passed out!

But the remaining survivors then moved on to another bar in Myeongdong, where we drank my new favorite liquor, Star (별). We ate some more, and were having a great time until the new postdoc in the lab decided it would be a good idea for him to drink shots of Star with everyone at the table. Six or seven shots later, he passed out, officially ending the night, and we all returned to the hostel to sleep it off.

Thankfully, I had paced myself pretty well all night, so I was able to walk under my own control back to the hostel...

And then Saturday morning, since we couldn't go hiking, we went to a famous restaurant in downtown for hae jang kook, or the soup that "washes your stomach." Yum - apparently, this soup is good for hangovers. My stomach, however, appreciated that fact that my labmates ordered me the hae jang kook without intestines...

All in all, a successful MT! A Korean tradition, if there ever was one...

And just so you know, little kids in Korea really do have cell phones. Here's a picture of a kid taking a picture with his phone:

Raves: My helpful labmates

2006-07-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me yesterday that I haven't given enough praise to my labmates here in Korea. Not that they're reading this (I think), but I should take a moment to describe how incredibly helpful they've been in all respects of my stay here.

Before I arrived, they found me housing. Once in Seoul, 원정 came to my hotel downtown, picked me up, and helped me find my way to said summer housing. Even though the lab is very crowded, 성은 cleared off her desk and is letting me use it, inconveniencing her no to small degree. Being the new person in lab who can't really read the labels on the drawers, shelves, and cabinets, I can't find anything, and everyone has been very patient with me and goes out of their way to find me the equipment that I need.

In Danyang at the lab retreat, my roommates 현이 and 준희 sheparded me around and made sure that I wasn't missing some important seminar or poster session, since I'm often not quite sure where we're supposed to be / what's going on (such is the price of being functionally illiterate!).

And most importantly, someone (sometimes multiple people) make sure that I have plans for lunch... the list goes on and on.

Just now was a great example: I need a centrifuge to spin some cells down. The one that I normally use (and know how to reserve, use, etc.) is broken, so I asked 미영 where I could find another one, and she walked me to three different labs until we found one that was available.

Before we came to Korea, we were told that our labmates would go above and beyond the call of hospitality, but these people truly have been great. In a lot of situations, I could easily have felt really isolated, alone, and homesick, but everyone here has made the transition as easy as possible. Just wanted to mention that...

Korean celebrities

2006-07-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

While living in LA, I have seen a grand total of one celebrity in 5 years. And it was Tommy Lee, so that barely counts. OK, I did see Woody Harrelson once, too, but still...

Well, tonight in Hongdae, I saw my first Korean celebrity:

Granted, I have no idea who he was, though my friend tells me that he's an actor. He was dressed like a Hell's Angel and had the kind of swagger that comes only when you're used to being watched. If it weren't for the gigantic gaggle of girls following him around, I would never have known he was famous.

Female science nerds

2006-07-21T22:11:00.000-07:00

Even before I read this recent, slightly weird NYT article, I had been thinking about the topic of "Women in Science." And not just because King James really wants to meet some girls. When I first arrived, I was surprised to find that my lab is ~50% women (here's a large portion of my lab, visiting the Buddhist temple at Guinsa near Danyang):

Needless to say, quite a shock coming from CIT. But it's not just my lab; at the retreat in Danyang and in the other labs that I've visited, there are a lot of women here who are studying science. In fact, during my brief observation, Korea seems to be doing a much better job than America of keeping women in science (KAIST notwithstanding).

And this is all despite the general preference for male children (although I fail to see why "carrying on the family name" is so important in a culture where everyone is named either Kim, Park, or Lee!). Several girls have even mentioned that their parents openly favor their younger male siblings, simply because they're male.

But then this article got me thinking: I haven't met a single female professor. Not one! Perhaps women in Korea have only recently started studying science, and it's only a matter of time before they infiltrate the ranks of professors? Or is there some subtle sexism going on here, where women's careers are irrevocably interrupted by kids, because they don't have adequate support for childcare and whatnot?

I certainly don't know. Just wondering...

Thankfully, however, a Korean friend told me that Electrical Engineering and Mechanical Engineering are almost exclusively male, even in Korea. Some things are universal, I guess.

Mmm Mmm...

2006-07-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

I just had some 버거킹 for lunch. Boy, was it tasty - I had the lunch set. For those of you unfamiliar with 버거킹, here's what it is...

But what I loved most about 버거킹 was its location: the Yonsei Hospital. Serving 버거킹's famous sandwich, the 와퍼, well that's just like keeping your cardiologists in business.

In other news, I was investigating some of the neighborhood around my dorm, when I found this quaint, little cafe:

That's right, come on down to eat at the AIDS cafe! Mmm... that sounds tasty.

But before I could nominate the AIDS cafe for "Korea's Worst Mistranslation" award, I looked a little closer and realized that the cafe is actually named this.

Common mistake on my part - I'm sure they get that all the time...

Still raining...

2006-07-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

I really wasn't kidding about the Typhoon + Monsoon:

Which means that rather than exploring this ginormous city, I'm hanging out in my room on this Sunday (not my ideal Sunday, but relaxing nonetheless). Thankfully, my roommate informs me that the rainy season is set to end soon in Seoul - after that, the oppressively humid, hot weather will commence!

For those of you that know me (and seriously, why would anyone who doesn't know me read this drivel?!), I am a sweaty guy (it runs in the family). Which means that when it's not raining, the 15 minute walk across campus leaves me drenched. Much fun - it reminds me of my hometown, and makes me miss the dry weather of California.

But I'm not complaining - just observing. Despite the rain, I still had a great evening last night in Hongdae, a very hip area near Yonsei U that is full of bars, clubs, music venues, and on average 4 Koreans in your personal space. The original plan was to meet up with some friends to check out some of the music venues, but since the night was young, we thought we would stop into a bar for a drink. One of my friends from the Korea Summer Institute brought along two Korean girls from her lab who know the area, so we turned to them for advice on where to go. We walked for a while, but they were being indecisive, so I stepped in to suggest the one place that I do know: Nabi , a difficult-to-find, underground spot (literally) that features a dim, cave-like decor, complete with a running stream that contains floating candles and rose petals, as well as the requisite Korean hipsters smoking or playing the bongos. Needless to say, very much to my liking.

Like I said, Nabi is hard to find: go down the small, random alley and look for the small, nondescript sign that leads to the darkened stairway (every other bar is Korea has a gigantic, blinking neon sign proclaiming "Coffee / Beer / Whisky / Snack," so Nabi is an exercise in understatement). I had been there once with my Korean friend S., and I figured I would never find it again, but amazingly enough, I did find the right alley - much to the amusement of the Koreans. I was quite proud to serve as tour guide, and show off my knowledge of Hongdae. Keep in mind, this is the only place that I know in Hongdae, but it helps me pretend that I know Seoul like a native.

After we'd hung out at Nabi, we still wanted to find some live music, but unfortunately, it had started raining cats and dogs - just sheets of water coming down, which made exploring on foot, looking for a good club, seem like a less attractive option. So, we ended up at a nearby bar, Moon Yang, and had a very quiet, relaxed evening of chilling and chatting, which is more interesting if you're hanging out with new Korean friends, especially if they have traeveled / lived / studied in the States, which these girls had. Anyway, it wasn't quite the evening that we had set out for, but it was good nonetheless.

But back to today - and the rain. One benefit of my enforced indoor status is that I've been exploring YouTube - I know, everyone else was into this months ago, but I'm really just testing the waters now. So far, this short is my favorite, especially because of the main character's name:

Monsoon + Typhoon = Good Times

2006-07-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Nobody told me that summer is the rainy season - they really should have mentioned that! Depending on who you talk to, we're experiencing either a "monsoon" or a "typhoon," and sometimes both. Having been in LA for some time now, I've really forgotten what summer rain was like. So, when it's raining in July, my body gets confused: summer? rain? I don't get it.

One of the funny things I noticed about Seoul when I first got here was that everyone puts up their umbrellas, even when it's barely misting. The rain is so light that you're not even getting wet, yet everyone is using an umbrella! At first I just chalked it up to cultural differences, because I don't feel obliged to use an umbrella in a light mist. Then, I learned the horrible truth: acid rain. That's right, this city is so polluted that people are worried about the rain ruining their clothes and eating through their skin. The acid rain has been chronicled other places, but to make a long story short: use your umbrella. Always.

Which brings up another interesting aspect of life here: LA has a bad rap in America for smog (and deservedly so, although the smog was supposedly worse in the 60's and 70's), but Seoul puts LA to shame:

Of course, just like LA, the rain (though acidic!) has its benefits: it clears all the crap out of the air, leaving beautiful visibility of Seoul's mountainous terrain.

The downside, of course, is that when the rain clears out the smog, all that crap lands on me...

Facial hair fun...

2006-07-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have never really been able to grow facial hair (see my failed attempt to grow a soul patch, circa 2003). However, something changed around my 27th birthday, and a couple days of shaving-laziness later, I inexplicably had a beard. It was amazing - almost like I had finally hit puberty. Needless to say, everyone around me strongly encouraged this new development, mostly because it was something new to mock... so I kept the beard for almost two months.

And by a wonderful coincidence, the Koreans in my lab have been obsessed with my beard. How long does it take to grow? Does it itch? Why did you grow it? One colleague even asked if he could touch it (and I let him, because aren't I a nice guy?).

Side note: sometimes sarcasm does not translate across a language barrier. For example, one labmate asked me, "How do you keep your beard clean?" Trying to be droll, I replied, with a straight face, "Well, there's this thing we have in America called soap. Have you heard of it?"

And she nodded and said, very seriously, "Yes, I have heard of soap." Needless to say, that joke did not go over very well...

But back to the real story: as time went by during my stay here, the beard kept growing and became, how shall I say? Mingin' - just plain mingin':

I could have pursued a simple trim, but that wouldn't have been much fun. After all, why grow facial hair if not for ridicule quotient?

Step 1: Mutton Chops

My odyssey started on Sunday night: mutton chops, plus the goatee.

The Koreans were confused - some seemed to think that I had done it by accident. As if I somehow forgot to shave the rest of my face.

I tried describing that these were "mutton chops," which inevitably led to the question, "Why are they called mutton chops?" Turning to wikipedia, I learned the definition of "mutton chops," which is:

A style with sideburns connected by a moustache but with a clean-shaven chin.

So I didn't actually have mutton chops. Regardless, I liked this look.

Verdict: Kinda neat. It might look even cooler without the goatee.

Step 2: Goatee

The next logical step was a goatee. Get rid of those pesky sideburns!

Some people look good with a goatee. It appears that I am not one of those people.

Verdict: Toolish. Never to be grown again.

Step 3: Moustache

Now this was a trip - a big, bushy, moustache. Immediately, I received flattering (at least I think they were flattering) comparisons to people like Ron Burgundy and child molesters. Some people out there gave me some serious props, and certain members of the WU swimming fraternity would surely have approved of my sketchy look.

Out in the streets of Seoul, I had the impression that I was being stared at even more than usual. Even Korean people know: You should never trust a guy with a moustache.

Others just said that I looked "German," which is never a compliment.

Verdict: Very Cool, as long as you don't plan on ever having a girlfriend. Nonetheless, I was sad to see the 'stache go...

Step 4: Cleanly shorn, like a baby's bottom...

Right back where I started.

Thankfully, I did not have a beard tan... for the record.

Verdict: Like Odysseus before me, I have finally returned home to square one, after an arduous journey and much mockery. Nevertheless, my Korean colleagues loved the whole ordeal, and I must say, so did I...

Argggh, matey!

2006-07-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

I swear I am not becoming obsessed with pirates, but over the weekend, I did purchase this shirt:
Somehow, there are tons of vintage clothing stores here that sell American t-shirts. This particular one has the roster of team "Pirateball 2004" on the back - they were apparently PV (Prairie Village?) Major League champions. Congratulations, Pirateball!

And just as I was thinking about my recent non-obsession with pirates, I remembered taking this picture during our boat trip on the Hangang:

Yes, it's a Pirates of the Carribean-themed tourist boat! Something about Seoul just seems to inspire the modern-day pirate... Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley will surely be turning up soon!

Weirdness afoot in the world's largest K-town

2006-07-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

The underpants gnomes from South Park are alive and well in Korea. Damn those gnomes! They'll be awash in profit in no time! That is, if they can figure out Step 2...

For those confused, consult the gnomes' Wikipedia entry. I can't believe someone took the time to write a Wiki about the underpants gnomes... seriously, that guy needs something better to do with his time - like a blog.

Pirates and Ex-Athletes

2006-07-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

If you're like me, you've been asking "How can I become a pirate?" Turns out the answer is to visit Sherman Oaks with a current 3"x5" photo (via Defamer).

And if you're looking for a reason why I'm occasionally running these days, la voilà (via NYT).

Not that I claim to have ever been an athletic star.

Clothing: Where to shop

2006-07-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

I like weird t-shirts - and so do the Koreans (although they may or may not understand what their shirts say in English). While wearing one of my "cool" t-shirts several days ago, someone asked me where I bought it, and the answer was simple: the internet.

After all, there are so many great sites for internet clothes: threadless, defunker, and found item, for a few. How could you not like internet t-shirt shopping? (Check out some of my favorite t-shirt designs, including "Ask me about becoming a pirate")

But the Koreans were aghast: "Really, you bought this online? Without seeing it? How strange!" They all agreed that they wouldn't trust buying clothes online.

However, from my perspective, buying clothes online is fine. If it doesn't fit, or you don't like it, just mail it back. What could be easier?

Well, Koreans think shopping for clothes at their famed markets is easier. To check it out, I went to the Dongdaemun nighttime market (a reputed great spot for buying clothes) on July 4th (very American of me).

And the markets are astounding - an endless maze of tiny, little stores crammed together that sell everything. Everything. It's truly a shopping paradise, except there's one tiny little problem: no dressing rooms! How do you try stuff on? My Korean chaperone told me, "You just have to know your size." Oh... well, that shouldn't be a problem for me, considering Korean t-shirts come in sizes like 90, 95, and 100.

So I didn't buy anything, because I couldn't try it on, even though it was physically in front of me. (Imagine me trying to return something in my broken Korean. Good luck with that, Navin.) But Koreans would never buy clothes online, because it's not right there in front of them.

To each country its own, I suppose.

On a final note:

Chariots of Fire

2006-07-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

After over two weeks of relative inactivity, it has finally become time to start working off my kimchi belly. Yes, I have been walking a lot and taking the stairs quite often (since my dorm room is on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator!), but I still don't want to turn into what my friend A. describes as "the 196-lb monster." Especially with all the kimchi I've been eating.

Now, I have more or less despised running ever since high school (take that, Coach Karl!), but as far as exercising while abroad is concerned, running is a) convenient, b) cheap, and c) effective. And although I hate running at home, I do enjoy running in a new place just a teensy bit, since it gives me a chance to explore and learn my way around.

But, holy schnikes! This campus is hilly! There are steep inclines leaving every direction from my dorm. This random map that I found does the campus no justice. This photo also makes campus look rather idyllic:
And, truth be told, the campus is very pretty - as long as you're in a car, driving around it. On foot, you have to work to climb up and down all those hills. But I shouldn't complain - at least by living at Yonsei U, I have nice areas to run in. Most of Seoul is densely urban, teeming with cars and people - there would be absolutely no room for running. But on campus, there are trails and trees and a pretty good running environment, despite all those hills.

Side note: Some areas of campus are pretty deserted at night. Although decently lit, they seem a bit sketchy, shall we say, to my American sensibility. When I'm jogging, my American common sense tells me, "This doesn't seem like a smart place to be alone at night." Or, as an American colleague put it,

I would never - NEVER - walk around streets like this in D.C. without fearing for my life.

But in Korea, it seems totally safe to do so! You see unaccompanied women walking around these fairly deserted parts of campus at all times of night, apparently without fear.

I think this anecdote sums up the difference in attitudes: chugging up a hill on Monday night, there was an obviously American girl (read: white) walking on the path in front of me. I thought she heard me coming, what with my gasping for breath and loud footfalls, but apparently she didn't, because just as I was about to pass, she turned with a look of absolute terror on her face! As if she thought I might try to steal her purse or perhaps worse. (I did feel bad for scaring this poor girl and tried to apologize in between gasps...)

But when I pass Korean girls, they scarcely even give me notice. They're obviously not afraid of a stranger passing them on a darkened, deserted sidewalk. If anything, they're probably just amused to see someone jogging, because, well, it's just so American. I don't think Koreans understand the concept - and every jogger I've seen here has looked American.

More praise for that tiny place that may or may not actually be a country...

2006-07-03T07:55:00.000-07:00

In Korea, there are certain items which are revered as status symbols: 1) a cool-looking t-shirt in English, 2) fragrant kimchi, and 3) the mobile phone. I already own many versions of #1, but as of today, I am also the proud owner of #3 - a mobile!

My own model is a rather worn, but fashionably slim, Anycall from (who else?) the chaebol Samsung, but I'm so proud to have it. A very gracious co-worker loaned me this phone that her husband used to use (presumably before he got an internet / TV / digital masseuse-enabled handset) and then she nicely accompanied me to the KTF store to help get it hooked up. Which was pretty painless, considering that I sat back and ate candy while she did all the discussing with the saleslady.

And the phone works - I can now communicate with the world, even in the depths of the subway! (Every cell phone here works everywhere in the subway, which never ceases to amaze me. I explained to my co-worker that most phones won't work in American or European subways, and she looked at me like I had just explained that we eat children for breakfast in America).

But what truly amazes me stems from an idea a friend in Korea gave me: SkypeIn. I'm starting to sound like a Luxembourghish pimp here (not that the Luxembourghish even own it anymore) but for $4/month, I purchased an American phone number from Skype (even got to choose an LA area code) and then had my calls forwarded to my Korean mobile. Presto! Someone in America can call me, Skype forwards the call to me in Korea, and I only get charged $0.07/minute! Now anyone can call me!

Well, more exactly, anyone that I like enough to actually give my new number to can call me. The rest of you still have to read the schlock I publish here.

(Long distance charges may apply)

Korean eating habits

2006-06-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Now that I've been "in country" for almost two weeks now, let me break down for you some of the typical Korean eating habits:

- a friend who has been here before warned the Americans that the Koreans would not drink anything with their lunch - and that's true. They eat their entire meal without having anything to drink (almost like my friend ZWalk did back in high school). Then, after the meal, they go to these little water machines and "drink" a cup of water. At first, I thought it was so strange that they had only this little, tiny drink after lunch (at least ZWalk was saving himself a delicious Sprite for after lunch). But now I've learned (thanks to my Korean friend S.) that they are not drinking the water after lunch - nope, they are washing their mouth out. To get rid of the pepper flakes. And she wasn't kidding - I hadn't noticed before, but everyone standing around the water machine with their "drink" is swishing the water around in their mouth, washing out the gunk. Weird.

- No matter what Koreans eat, they regard the rice as the "meal." Case in point: you can gorge yourself on Korean bar-b-q (bulgogi, for example) for an hour while eating pickled vegetables, soups, and kimchi by the boatloads, but that's not the meal. No, the "meal" is the little bowl of rice that you get after eating all your meat and sides. To review: Rice = meal. Copious quantities of meat, pickled vegetables, soups, and everything else = not your meal. To say this is different from the American perspective of "Meat above all else" would be an understatement.

- Korean men eat really fast. Almost as fast as I eat! I wondered why, but now it all makes sense: every Korean man must do military service. And in the military, you only get 1-2 minutes to eat, so you learn to eat fast or you starve. Thus, wherever you go, you see these ex-Army guys shoveling their food in like it might disappear at any second. But since I've never been in the Army, I really have no excuse for eating fast. I'm just a pig.

- Koreans love ice cream - I just ate some green tea, blueberry, and corn ice cream for dessert. Yes, corn ice cream (not bad!). Given my penchant for the frozen stuff, I may fit in yet...

- Finally, props to my man James for finally finding something to eat that wasn't named Popeye's. Maybe now he won't have to rely on his mad game with the Korean ladies to find something to eat.

Smokin' in the boys' room

2006-06-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Teacher don't you fill me
Up with your rules
Everybody knows that
Smoking ain't allowed in school!!!

- Motley Crue

There are No Smoking signs posted everywhere in Korea, but the spirit Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx lives on! I was in the bathroom at school when some random guy came in, went in a stall, and started making a clicking noise. Was that a lighter, I thought? Sure enough, my nose was tingled by the acrid stench of cigarrette smoke.

Sweet. Smoking in the boys' room.

Actually, a buddy already in Korea warned me this might happen, but I was still taken aback.

The Rough Life...

2006-06-28T07:06:00.000-07:00

So far, life in Korea has been pretty tough on me. For example, after my week of wining, dining, and sightseeing thanks to the Korea Science and Engineering Foundation, I finally got to my lab last Friday. At last, I was going to have to settle down and do some actual work!

Or, maybe not - because I arrived just in time to attend the lab's annual retreat! Yes, after one afternoon spent in lab, I went along with everyone to Danyang, famous both for being in the middle of nowhere and for hot springs.

We listened to a few science talks, ate some traditional Korean foods (these people are big on soup, not so big on drinking water), and stayed in a sweet hotel, where I finally experienced sleeping like a Korean: on the floor. Surprisingly, quite comfortable (and good for the back, I'm told).

And we fulfilled the whole "Asian tourists on a bus" stereotype, by trekking around to a ginormous Buddhist temple, Cheondong cave, and a weird pagoda on top of a mountain. Lots of pictures with the V sign were had.

And finally, I visited Aquaworld, the only indoor water park in Korea. Complete with "hydro zet" and "basher wall system", whatever those might be.

Other notes from the weekend:

- Koreans love wearing clothes with English on them, but I'm not sure if everyone understands what their shirts say. Case in point, the woman I saw on Sunday with A-cup breasts wearing a shirt that said, "I see you've already met the twins." I thought it impolite to take a picture, so you'll have to imagine.

- Speaking of English, can I interest you in some:

(I'm entitled to make fun, since my Korean is perfect. Take, for example, this weekend, when I was playing a drinking game with my labmates. At the start of this game, you are supposed to yell "shijak," meaning start. I, however, insisted on yelling "shikdang," which means food. "Food! Food!" They must have just thought I was hungry...)

- The concept of "going Dutch" has not made it to Korea. Instead, it's the responsibility of the oldest or most senior member at dinner to pick up the check! Needless to say, I have been loving this - I haven't bought a meal yet! This is despite of the fact that I'm actually older than some of my labmates, because the rule doesn't seem to apply to foreigners. Before certain people start accusing me of being cheap (it's happened before - you know who you are), I have forcibly tried to pay on several occasions, only to have my money refused over and over again. In the meantime, I'll just keep on trying to pay, and enjoying it if they don't let me...

- And on the topic of food, during the trip to Danyang, we stopped for food at a Korean rest stop. Since I didn't recognize anything on the menu, I just picked something random. And then I became very confused during lunch, because everyone seemed overly concerned about me: "Is it okay? Are you sure? If you don't like it, we can get you something else, etc. etc..." Turns out, I had unknowingly ordered the spiciest thing on the menu, and they were all worried that the white man couldn't handle it - but I am proud to say I slurped every last noodle and downed every last bit of random, pickled vegetable (it's very unlike me to not join the clean plate club). I am white man, hear me roar!

Skype me!

2006-06-23T23:02:00.000-07:00

Despite my prejudice against the Luxemburgish, those people have finally proved themselves good for something: Skype.

I'm by no means computer illiterate, but I'm certainly not a computer wizard either. And yet I was able to install Skype, grab a random 16,500 won microphone, and make a call back to the States within minutes. And now I can keep in touch with back home for the low, low price of 2.5 cents/minute.

This doesn't come as news to the computer guys out there that have been taking advantage of Skype for a while, but I'm still awed. Freakin' amazing. Nice work, Luxembourg!

Far from home

2006-06-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Three cities I've visited in the past year, and suddenly I find myself far from all of them. And far from all that is "normal." That's right: Korea. Seoul. 연셔 대학교!!!

I'll keep you all up to date on the mundane, bizarre, and downright boring goings-on of my life in the far East, but for now I'll leave you with these small, hot gumnuggets of wisdom about life in the world's largest K-town:

- you can watch TV on your mobile phone. And Americans are so excited about downloading Desperate Housewives to our iPods? Get real.

- Outback steakhouse is the most popular American chain restaurant. Bloomin' onion and everything. Yum.

- the urinals here are all automatic. What's so strange about that, you ask? Well, the flushing begins when you *start* peeing, not when you stop. It's like they're cleaning up from the last guy so that you can leave a fresh mark on the urinal.

- there are lots of Asian people here. Who'd've guessed?

Taken out of context

2006-05-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Guess what this article is about (from the New York Times):

When I pull into rest stops, I see the same guys in the bathroom I'd see at hub airports.

You guessed it! The gay rest stop culture of Long Island. Oh, no, wait... it's about summer travel.

Maybe they should try Karaoke instead...

2006-05-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

Perhaps a nice rendition of "I touch myself" would calm the nice people of Encino down.

After all, everyone knows those film stars love karoake.

How to be a man...

2006-05-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

Should a schlub that looks like this really be writing books about "How to be a man"?!

Here's an excerpt from his "Alphabet of Manliness":

D: Dorky goatee. An essential to looking like a total toolbox of
manliness. See my picture for explanation.

And yes, I am just jealous that he has a book deal and I do not.

Tuesday's LA band you should know: Helen Stellar

2006-05-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

For Tuesday, the random LA band that I think you should know about is (drum roll, please)... Helen Stellar.
You can give them a listen here. For starters, I love the song "Panic attack at breakfast." The lyrics accurately describe the roller-coaster of emotional that I've seen in some of my own friends as they alternate between a paralyzing crisis of confidence and joyful fearlessness. "Diane" from the Below Radar EP is also a great track.

In general, I think they described themselves pretty well on their own website:

HELEN STELLaR has laid claim to a brave and beautiful sonic niche combining the best elements of space-aged electronica and legendary rock 'n' roll.

Brave and beautiful. Strong words. I'm not normally a huge "shoegaze" fan, but if this is shoegaze, then count me in. I'll be the one at the show checking out your battered Chuck Taylor's.

And in the vein of coincidental run-ins, I've also had a random brush with Helen Stellar. I was already a big fan, thanks to the "I'm naut what I seem" EP, and so I was buying their first EP (The Newton EP) at Amoeba. The clerk at the counter says to me, "You do realize that Helen Stellar's lead singer just walked right behind you?" No, I did not realize, though I should have recognized Jim Evens' distinctive haircut. I definitely should have taken that opportunity to get an autograph on my EP, because I would like it if someone asked me for an autograph, but I didn't. For shame, Navin. That autographed EP would have been worth dollars when HS hits it big.

And hit it big they just might, with their new double album coming out May 16 on Cameron Crowe's label Vinyl Films. Jump on the bandwagon while you still can.

Random LA band you should know: Silversun Pickups

2006-05-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

I don't pretend to know much about the underground or unsigned LA music scene, but occasionally even I stumble across an up-and-coming young band that really strikes a chord. And so let me do my part in spreading the word about my occasional finds with you, dear reader.

Without further ado, Monday's randomly awesome band you should know: The Silversun Pickups.

I am a huge fan of the track Kissing Families (and not just because I'm married to my first cousin), as well as the song Creation Lake, which can be found on their EP Pikul. I'd call their music lo-fi, featuring some growling guitars interspersed with delicate melodies.

But the true reason that I will forever love the SSPU is that I saw them play at an EP release party at Echo Park's wonderful Sea Level Records. Sure, they put on a good show (while the lead singer swigged scotch in between songs), but more importantly, they brought beer. Any band that brings me beer and plays good music gets major props from Thermos.

You can also give their music a listen on MySpace (no self-respecting band can live without a MySpace page).

Tijuana, anyone?

2006-05-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

I think Spring Break in Cancun just became even more fun:

Mexican President Vicente Fox will sign a bill that would legalize the use of nearly every drug and narcotic sold by the same Mexican cartels he's vowed to fight during his five years in office, a spokesman said Tuesday....And the per-person amounts approved for possession by anyone 18 or older could easily turn any college party into an all-nighter: half a gram of coke, a couple of Ecstasy pills, several doses of LSD, a few marijuana joints, a spoonful of heroin, 5 grams of opium and more than 2 pounds of peyote, the hallucinogenic cactus.

Really, that all sounds OK to me except for the peyote. 2 frickin' pounds? This will even more credence to one of my favorite insults: peyote-eater.

Read the whole thing here.

I love my job

2006-05-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you just have to step back for a second and laugh, while reading the following reference:
Journal of Mammary Gland Biology and Neoplasia 2003 Apr;8(2):145-58

Ah, J Mammary Gland Biol. Hasn't every 12-year old hetero male aspired to some day read your articles? Don't let anyone tell you that dreams never come true.

P.S. I swear that's why "mammary gland" was on autocomplete in my Google searchbar.

Coachella 2006: A review in brief

2006-05-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Coachella hangover, 2006 edition. It's taken me until today to even think about posting on this, given the fatigue from my annual trek into the desert.

Not that I'm asking for your sympathy (my parents certainly gave me none when I told them I was tired at work on Monday) - the festival was awesome: warm but not scorching heat, a slew of awesome acts, a coterie of international music fans, and a general lack of sunburn made for a great weekend.

If you weren't there, this is an amazingly complete run-down of the show. Honestly, I can't imagine how this guy saw all of those sets - I was knackered just from seeing about half of those acts.

But no matter how much I enjoyed Coachella '06, there are always the haters: this is definitely one of the worst reviews I've read - it's New York snobbery, looking down their noses at Cali, at its best.

My personal highlights:
- The Zutons: I was totally wrong about these guys - they rock, even if they are Brits.

- Jamie Lidell: I've written about this guy before, and he was every bit as incredible in the desert. He even added some theatrical perfomance art to the music. And he wore a raincoat, because it was sunny and 95 F.

- Daft Punk: All I've got to say about this act is summed up here.
- Ted Leo / Pharmacists: "Cigarettes and speed for living, sleeping pills to feel forgiven." A great set, even if I had to sit down in the middle of it. Plus, he looks vaguely like my friend Goose.

- Franz Ferdinand: Second time I've seen these guys, and they were perfect rocking out music for the vastness of the desert. Only 40' remain.
- Amadou & Mariam: Apparently, they are blind. I def. did not pick up on that during the show. Too busy dancing with all the afro-beat stoners, I suppose.
- Ladytron, My Morning Jacket, and The Scissor Sisters: A case of perfect timing - I only saw about 4 songs from each of these bands, but still managed to hear my personal favorite tunes from each of them.

My only real regret: missing the opportunity to perv on The Like. Well, that and staying at that sketchy motel.

More Coachella homework: Mates of State

2006-04-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

To my small but dedicated readership:

My next few posts will probably be pretty focused on the spring ritual known as Coachella.

My apologies,
Navin R.

COACHELLA!

Anyway, I'm trying to check out some new bands so that I can plan my itinerary at the festival. Today's assignment: Mates of State. Apparently, they are a husband and wife team from the Bay Area. I'm obligated to like them simply because they quit their jobs as cancer researchers to pursue music (their is hope for me yet!). And thankfully, their music is quite good: lots of keyboards and harmonizing vocals - this music just makes me happy.

Grade: Make an attempt to attend. Not quite a must see, but very interesting.

Regarding other Coachella news, I was pretty bummed today to find out that Hard-Fi just cancelled. A friend had just hooked me up with some tracks, and as soon as I had really started enjoying them, the lead singer has gone and contracted Ebola or something. A damn shame - I was going to award them "Must see" status.

Traffic school

2006-04-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my no-good friends A. and S. who came out to visit in March, I got a speeding ticket near Buellton. (Honestly, it was their fault. It was certainly not my fault.)

Anyway, this being my first speeding ticket, I get to attend traffic school to remove the ticket from my record. Woohoo! Of course, I've been having fun taking the course. Here are some things that I've learned so far:

- Getting drunk is not a condition to be admired, laughed at, or taken lightly. Rude, destructive, or just plain foolish behavior triggered by alcohol use is socially unacceptable.
(But that's exactly why I like drinking!)
- This bill increases the duration of alcohol treatment programs after a first DUI conviction, where probation is granted from 6 months to 9 months and the required program activity hours from 45 hours to 60 hours when the blood alcohol content (BAC) is 20% or greater.
(I'm pretty sure you are clinically dead if your blood reaches 40 proof.)
- Throughout this course, the term "thumbprint" will be used to mean a thumbprint or finger print, if you have no thumbs.
(You're right - I shouldn't laugh at people with no thumbs. That's just plain mean)
- Sparky's favorite actor is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
(They insert these anecdotes about Sparky just to see if you're actually reading. Sparky is going to be on the final test - no kidding)

And my favorite part? The name of my "traffic school" is Cheap Easy Online. Cheap Easy Online - that could be a dating site, too. Wish me luck on the final exam!

UPDATE: I passed. I'm so safe.

Our nation's capitol

2006-04-18T11:40:00.000-07:00

I had intended to write a scathing review of my trip to Washington, D.C., immediately after I returned to sunnny LA... but work, more work, and life in general intervened and delayed my post. (Yes, I know that by definition, someone who blogs has no outside life, but occasionally, I do try to go outside and enjoy the real world. Occasionally.)

So, instead of breaking down my impressions of the city bit-by-bit, let me just say these two things:
- I stayed in Pentagon City, and I found out that the Pentagon is big - really frickin' big. So big that it scares me. What are all the military minions doing in there anyway? Everywhere you go, there are military types in fatigues and stuff, acting like normal people (I tried not to stare, lest I be electro-tasered as a suspicious character), and I just find that strange. The Pentagon does, however, make for good panoramic pictures:
- People in D.C. dress poorly. As my embedded correspondent put it:

It's nothing but navy blue bureaucrat suits and underpaid 22-year-olds who can't buy clothes that don't make them look like homeless people.

Nonetheless, I still had a great time drinking... I mean, "attending meetings," in the District.

Starting my Coachella Homework

2006-04-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again: The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.

I admit, I'm way behind on my research this year. Looking at the line-up, I'm like, "Well, I've heard of Madonna, but that's about it." OK - I'm kidding, but I'm still unfamiliar with so many of the bands that it's overwhelming. Where to get started learning about all this music?

Well, Tuesday night at The Troubadour I finally got a start with Jamie Lidell. Flavorpill described him as an "electro-soul songwriter [who] builds his live sound with layers of samples and vocal loops, while beatboxing and touting a killer falsetto," and that about sums it up.

He was really an incredible one-man show - so much infectious energy that he even got LA dancing (and that is a rare thing at LA shows!). Plus, Jamie wore a sweet pair of gold lapels. Apparently, that's his fashion statement.

If you haven't heard any Jamie Lidell, I'd recommend starting with the track "Multiply" on his website. Great song.

Reason #71

2006-04-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

Reason #71 why I still love Guster after all these years: If you send them an e-mail:

They always write back (even if it's only one line):

Maybe someday, the boys (and Joe) will be too big and rock star to write back their fans, but for now, even a message as dumb as mine will still get a reply. Guster truly is for lovers.

Easter is near...

2006-04-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

And that means Peeps. Seriously, I have always loved Peeps - my family is full of addicts who can't even walk by the Peeps aisle at Target. I thought I'd seen it all when Wrigley Field was re-created using Peeps last year, but this awesome display of the power of Peeps sets a new standard for creativity.

Barbie porn

2006-04-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

I checked out a party / dj set / live music / art show last night at Hanger 1018 in downtown (gasp! downtown? Yes, LA does have a scene downtown, amidst all the industrial warehouses, nudie bars, and sketchy mexican restaurants).

And it was a great time. We had a little rain, but it was still a great crowd. Lots of mohawks, ridiculous hipster clothes, and cheap beer (although don't you think it's a little ironic to charge $3 for a glass of Two-buck chuck?).

But the best part was The Barbisms. Some seriously funny art, all involving the notorious Barbie, with a hint of the subversive. Check out my favorites here, here, and here. And for those of you who know my Cali friend M., this one is for her.

The First World War... Recapitulated

2006-03-30T17:46:00.000-08:00

This is simply too hilarious for all you indie music fans out there.

I freakin' love The Onion. Of course, I missed this news update originally. Props to The 15-minute hipster for tipping me off.

I (heart) Chernobyl

2006-03-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

Another year, another birthday: today I turn the big 23 years old.

The downside: getting older doesn't seem any fun after 21.
The upside: I'm now the proud owner of Val Kilmer's t-shirt from Real Genius (when he interviews at Darlington):

And it's true: I do (heart) toxic waste.

Ernie the Taco Truck man already gave me a hard time at lunch: "You got some nerve coming to my truck saying you love toxic waste. What does that say about my food, man?"

I've wanted this shirt for a long time, so I was pretty stoked to receive it as a gift. What? You're jealous? Well then get your own at founditemclothing.com

Drinking the Kool-Aid

2006-03-29T16:10:00.000-08:00

Sooner or later, we all want to drink the Kool-Aid:

Yes, I've finally joined the herd and got myself an iPod. Now, I can be just as toolish as everyone else when I conspicuously walk around town with the white earbuds. Wait, who am I kidding? No one walks in LA!

Actually, I'm quite excited about joining the toolish herd - I guess that's why everyone else already has one of these babies.

Thank God someone finally realized...

2006-03-22T15:46:00.000-08:00

... the importance of men:
Seriously, enough of this "women are important, too" BS.

What? You say this poster is from the 1940's when it was acceptable to say that women weren't as important as men? And that it's no longer cool to say that in the 21st century? Oh.

Well, then I guess "women count, too." You heard it here first.

Scottish Indie Rock

2006-03-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

So what's so great about Scottish indie rock? Well, there's a lot to love about the famous Belle & Sebastian, but mostly I love how I had no intention of going to this show.

Why not? Because a) I already saw them once at Coachella and b) tickets were frickin' expensive (like they always are at the Wiltern, especially after the Ticketmaster bend-me-over surcharge).

Yet somehow I ended up there. How? Well, when your friend S. calls you, so desperate to attend the show that she offers to buy you a $40 ticket to the show, just so she won't have to go alone, you just say "yes."

But the best part about Scottish indie rock? S., my aforementioned sugar mama for the evening, is dating a Scottish guy. Who refuses to attend Belle & Sebastian concerts. His loss! For the record, I did give S. $20 for the ticket, because that's honestly how much I would have paid for the show. Yes, I know - I am an incredibly giving person. (Giving myself a pat on the back.)

But how was the music, you ask? Well, the opening act was The New Pornographers, who besides having a great name, sing one of my favorite songs of 2004: "The laws have changed." And although I love that song, I must say, TNP was really pretty average. All the songs sounded pretty much the same live, and they really need to improve their interaction with the audience (Note: the lame Canadian jokes about universal health care should die.)

But the headliners were awesome. Seriously funny guys with great Scottish accents. And the band, with a mixture of two guitars, bass, violin, keyboards, percussion, and the occasional trumpet is busy yet well-balanced without being overbearing. And somehow, their songs seem like little poems that really strike a chord or evoke a mood with me, whether it be a note of happiness, excitement, naivete, or melancholy. Actually, I was surprised how much I liked the show given that they played none of my favorite songs, most of which come from Fold your hands, child, you walk like a peasant (incidentally, one of my all-time favorite album titles).

Honestly, however, my favorite part of the night was taking public transportation to the Wiltern. How's that for an LA moment?!?! Taking the metro is so rare that I felt pretty cool riding to the show...

That is so Long Beach

2006-03-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Saw this sale last week in Long Beach:

As if Long Beach wasn't dangerous enough. Now the streets are gonna be flooded with all the wannabe samurai gangstas!

Studs - 20.46 and 20.60 sec

2006-03-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

Pop Quiz!
These two bald dudes, Sully (left) and Triebe are:
a) splashing around before getting down to some water aerobics
b) about to go all Brokeback on one another (I think Triebe is gonna slip him the tongue), or
c) celebrating the first ever national title for the WU Bears.

The correct answer is, of course, B. Wait... no, the correct answer is C. One-two in the 50 freestyle at D3 Nationals - who woulda thunk it when these two were skinny, callow freshmen? Congrats to them and BKSwim and all the other Bear swimmers.

A spot of 3rd month insanity

2006-03-17T10:53:00.000-08:00

That's right, basketball fans... today is one of the two best days of the year: the round of 64. 32 games, some heart-stopping (please don't foul that dude behind the 3-point line, UNC-Wilmington), some heart-wrenching (why couldn't you beat Indiana, putting me in first place in my pool, San Diego State?), and some just downright boring (OK, we get it, UCLA, you're good. But did you have to go and crush Belmont? How about a little suspense?)

But two things about this year's tourney really jumped out at got my attention:
- David Pak of Utah State is a convicted rapist. Yes, that's right, he served 8 years in prison for rape (which explains why he is a 29-year old college senior). Wow. Would you want to play against this guy? He learned how to play ball in prison (where they probably don't call fouls real tight). Obviously, it's great that he's moved on from his mistakes and everything, but personally, I would not foul this guy hard, just in case his boys on the inside were watching on TV.

Also, how did he break it to his now wife that he once raped someone? And you thought that incident in high school where you put HCl in your chem teacher's coffee was hard to explain.

- Unintential Comedy: One of CBS' announcers this morning called this guy "Marcellas Wallace." Was he trying to say that Marcellas "looks like a bitch?" Someone has watched Pulp Fiction too many times. At last sighting, Ohio State was "trying to fuck him like a bitch."

And just remember, from the Sports Guy:

We've all made the joke about how the least likely person always ends up winning your office pool -- a secretary, a temp with 36D's, a janitor with a 12-letter first name -- mainly because it's true.

The Grove: Family-safe shopping?

2006-03-14T10:46:00.000-08:00

I was strolling at the Grove a couple weeks ago, taking in the pseudo-European thoroughfare and riding on the fake trolley, when I noticed this:

Yeah, that's right - Hello Kitty. Shot in the head. And this is a family shopping area? As a bonus, this art store was next door to American Girl Place, so you can just envision the little girls happily clutching their dolls as they leave AGP, only to burst into tears when they see Hello Kitty dripping with blood. That's sick, people.

However, I did get pretty excited when the trolley almost ran this woman over:

As the trolley of death was bearing down, the trolley driver rang the bell, but he sure as hell didn't slow down! This woman was just strolling along, enjoying the sunshine, completely oblivious to the 10-ton trolley that was seconds away from crushing her. And the woman's husband? Well, he got out of the way, but he didn't seem too concerned about the trolley bearing down on his wife.

UPDATE: The trolley did not hit the woman. She was mercifully spared a Grove-tastic death.

This is... LA?

2006-03-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

The weather lately has been a far cry from the sun-drenched, shorts-year-'round climate that I was promised before moving here. When the foothills were temporarily dusted with snow a couple weeks ago, I thought it was cool. Now, this cold, cold, and colder spell is just annoying. Particularly because apartments in LA are not designed for this type of weather, i.e. bad insulation, windows that don't seal, heating that doesn't really work. The thing is, we only notice all these problems about once every couple years.

And of course this weather has prompted hilarious stories in the LA Times. Here's my favorite quote, about some kids in La Crescenta, straight from the "no-shit!" department:

Dude, this is snow. Look how it melts in your hand, Ogando said.

Dude, kids in LA. So sheltered.

And damn, Slobodan, I told you a million times: Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Rifampicin before blood pressure medication, never been sicker. But you just didn't wanna listen.

Out and about online

2006-03-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

I've been totally neglecting my baby recently. And by "baby," I mean "blog," because I certainly don't have any kids. That I know about, anyway.

So, for your enjoyment, here's what I've found interesting out there in internet-land recently:
- God's Senator: Would Jesus vote for Sam Brownback? I certainly credit Jesus with having more sense than that. Being a Kansas native, it's always interesting / disturbing to read about the freaks who represent my birth state in DC.
- The Herengracht, econo-douchebag Ed Glaeser (from Harvard, natch), and Why Minneapolis is cooler than Boston - if you're a real estate agent: For someone with no intention of buying real estate, not to mention no resources with which to do so, I'm strangely fascinated by these articles about the price of real estate. No, really, I swear these articles are interesting.
- China has too few people: Seriously. There are just not enough people in China.
- Chevon Hicks has the best idea for a new video game about LA. Best/worst comment about the game:

You start the game with a girlfriend, but as the popularity of [your] club soars you'll have to get rid of her.

And no, I have no idea who Chevon Hicks is, either.

Selling out

2006-03-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

Now that I have logged posts numbering in the teens and readership numbering in the mid-to-low single digits, I've finally gone and done it: I've sold out.

Yes, I'm experimenting with Google Adsense, as you'll see from the banner. For some reason, I just couldn't resist. Now I'm in the internet advertising business! I've always wanted to be a dot com entrepeneur! I may start mentioning this when I'm trying to hit on the ladies, because I think it's pretty impressive.

Anyway, the agreement with Google says they only pay amounts greater than $10, and I fully expect that my blog will bring in, say, zero ad clicks. So, this Adsense thing is really more about me having fun than it is about supplementing my already enormous grad school stipend. But feel free to leave me praise or hate-comments about selling out to "the man."

Resident Tourist: The Getty Center

2006-03-03T14:17:00.000-08:00

Thanks to a visit from my old friend A. and his ladyfriend S. last weekend, I visited one of my favorite LA spots (which I hadn't been to in a couple of years): the Getty Center.

Perched high above the 405, the architecture of the museum is the main attraction. The glorious white travertine and undulating surfaces, combined with gorgeous views of LA (when it's not smoggy), the building is awesome. A shining monument on a hill.

And the art?? Pretty good, too, but not incredible. They've got a pretty good exhibit on Courbet right now that I would recommend, and some of their permanent features are cool, but on the whole, the art collection isn't as good as somewhere like the Norton Simon.

But given that admission is free and parking is only $7, I'd highly recommend the Getty to anyone, resident or tourist, especially now during "winter," when you're more likely to avoid the smog and actually see the ocean.

Gary

2006-03-01T20:42:00.000-08:00

The other day, I went to buy some hair products at my local salon (this is what California will do to you: I used to be a solid, grounded, midwestern type, and now I've become the guy who buys hair products). Anyway, the guy behind the counter mentioned that he cuts hair, too, and gave me his card:

Does that picture make you want to get a haircut from Gary? That dude is totally gonna cut your ear off, Van Gogh style. Gary scares me. He is the reason I haven't had a haircut in months.

Tube Time: 24 (Day 4)

2006-02-28T17:03:00.000-08:00

Four weeks ago, I was perhaps the only person in the country not watching 24, the hit Kiefer Sutherland show on FOX. But on the strong recommendation of A. and A. (no relation), I gave in and TiVo'd Season 4 (or "Day 4" in 24 parlance), just to see what all the fuss was about.
And now that I've finally finished the heart-stopping 24-episode season, the reviews are in: 24 is ridiculous. With a capital R.

For example, here's what happens during Day 4, a supposedly continuous twenty-four hour period:
- terrorists blow up a train in California, which is just a cover for a plot to:
- kidnap the Secretary of Defense and his daughter Audrey (coincidentally, Jack's girlfriend), which is just a cover for a plan to:
- melt down all of the country's nuclear power plants, killing millions, which is just a cover for a plan to:
- steal an F-16 fighter jet and shoot down Air Force One, killing the president, which is just a means to:
- recover the "nuclear football," so that terrorists can steal a nuclear missile and fire it at Los Angeles.

Whew! Can you imagine the planning? I can barely do my laundry and shop for groceries on the same day, and these people planned not one, not two, but FIVE horrendous acts of terrorism in one 24-hour period.

Or, let's recall the emotional and physical toll on Audrey Raines in this one day. First, she confessess to her boyfriend Jack that she's falling in love with him, then she's kidnapped by terrorists and held hostage with her father, attempts to commit suicide to thwart her kidnappers, is rescued, returns to work (still looking good), tells her ex-husband Paul she no longer loves him, then discovers Paul may have terrorist ties, and as a result has to watch her boyfriend Jack torture Paul, after which her ex-husband Paul is shot while saving boyfriend Jack's life, so Audrey waits and watches Paul undergo life-saving surgery, a relapse, and a 2nd surgery, before she decides she does love him and wants to quit her job to help him rehab. At which point, Paul relapses again, goes into surgery (again), and then dies tragically after boyfriend Jack barges in and forces the doctor to stop operating on Paul. At which point, Audrey tells Jack she hates him, only to then watch him be killed an hour later in a shootout with the Secret Service.

Whew! And I thought my day was stressful...

In short, this show is ridiculous. No one ever gets tired, absurd plot twists just keep on coming, the intelligence analysts always find the perfect information just in time, and the country is in incredible peril for 24 hours, only to be saved single-handedly by Jack Bauer in the nick of time.

Like I said, 24 is ridiculous. Ridiculously good, that is. When does the next season start?

J to the effin' K

2006-02-28T10:43:00.000-08:00

What Famous Leader Are You?

Hmmm... I don't quite know what to say about my personality test results. Except maybe, do I make you horny, baby?

Party Shuffle

2006-02-22T18:03:00.000-08:00

You know how as your music collection expands, you inevitably stop listening to some of your favorite old CD's? Well, thank God for iTunes 'Party Shuffle' functionality. I've been listening to my music collection on party shuffle recently, and it's forced me to re-discover just how awesome some bands are that I haven't listened to forever. Especially:
- Stone Temple Pilots
- Dispatch
- The Samples
- Phish (yes, I was a huge fan back in HS)

Anyway, on the subject of party shuffle, this is for a special someone out there who recently discovered the magic of iPod shuffle.

(And I'm so glad Apple called it "party" shuffle rather than just shuffle, because now I get to feel like I'm having a party every day at work rather than just procrastinating.)

Who needs illegal NSA wiretappping...

2006-02-21T10:26:00.000-08:00

... when this shop moves in down the street?

Seriously, people: we would not have invaded Iraq if the Bushies had only visited the Spy Shop.

Sisterly help

2006-02-20T16:34:00.000-08:00

Apparently, my sister called my parents over the weekend and told them she had seen the perfect girl for me. Those of you who know my track record in college will immediately understand. Check her out here and here.

Thanks for the help, A. She's pretty cute, and I do like athletic girls. But you can tell Lindsey that I don't date silver medalists. Win gold in the 2010 Snowboardcross and then we'll talk.

Bolivian Marching Powder

2006-02-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

Normally in LA, when people talk about white powder, they're not referring to the kind that falls from the sky (although that's a great idea for a kick-ass party!). But over the weekend, we had some of the legal, falling-from-the-sky kind of white powder.

Well, maybe it didn't snow in LA proper, but it was close enough that you could see it from my roof. Despite the frigid cold (40's at night!), it was gorgeous.

For a better view, click on the panoramic photo:

A Celebration of Loneliness and Misery

2006-02-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

Guarantee this is the best place on campus to pick up chicks.

PSK 2006

2006-02-16T16:56:00.000-08:00

Here in the City of Angels, not all are angels like myself. No, our fair city is home to some fairly sketchy industries. Take Hollywood, for example - you just know that Ben Affleck is sketchy. And then there's the shipping port of Long Beach - totally sketch. But the most infamous industry of all resides in the Valley: pornography (shudder).

Thankfully, our proximity to such an iniquitous industry does have its benefits. Like Porn Star Karaoke! Now, I know what you're thinking: what gives porn stars the right to defile a squeaky clean, family-friendly activity like karaoke? But come on - everyone's job is stressful. Who among us hasn't needed to cut loose after a stressful day of facials and lesbian clinchers? And why shouldn't porn stars be allowed to embrace their inner chanteuse? Sardo's in Burbank agrees, so they host PSK every Tuesday.

I've been meaning to go for a long time, but it wasn't until last Tuesday that I finally made it. How was it? Awesome. Obviously, karaoke is always fun, but even more fun is the PSK guessing game: Porn Star or Not Porn Star? The women in skimpy clothes pictured here who are busy making love to the camera (OK, not my camera) are not playing very hard. Even in LA, you don't normally see this much silicone. Porn stars!

But then there are the normally dressed, attractive women. They know how to make the game tough; are they porn stars? Maybe, maybe not. They could just be there for the karaoke. Is it offensive to ask? ("Uh... didn't I see you in Forrest Hump?") Personally, I think that should be a compliment.

And the unattractive girls? You figure they've got to be pornstars. Probably really dirty ones.

Highlight of the night: my picture with Lori Lust (link extremely NSFW, but check out the "best body in the industry" if you can). She gave me a signed copy of her latest "cover" (which is actually one of those crappy free magazines you see at street corners, next to LA Weekly) and her business card, which says she's available for parties. Hmmm, my birthday is coming up....

So, if you're ever bored on a Tuesday night, I highly recommend the PSK. It's got something for everyone: karaoke, booze, and scantily dressed women.

And for the ladies who aren't interested in porn stars? Well, at least you'll get to check out the professional porn photographers, who all bear an uncanny resemblence to this guy:

When arrows don't penetrate, Cupid grabs the pistol

2006-02-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

My name is Cupid Valentino. And in honor of Saint Valentine, a photo essay, as enacted by Spongebob Squarepants chocolate-flavored characters:

For me???

Who farted? Ah, Patrick!

Damn right - kiss it, Spongebob!

Inappropriate Valentine's touching
(But I think he likes it)

There's all this talk about/
Santa Claus/
But, Cupid will not be defeated.

Shawnee Mission Wonderful

2006-02-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

The serendipity of the web. Gotta love it. Found this picture online today, while not even searching for dear old alma mater:

I say this sign is totally photoshopped. No way the perpetrators changed it like they claim. Check out the post here.

Brains

2006-02-13T16:23:00.000-08:00

Who says science isn't fun? From Dueber et al, Science 2003 (301):

Briefly, brains were homogenized in an equal volume of buffer (50 mM PIPES (pH 6.8), 5 mM EGTA, 2 mM MgCl2, 1 mM DTT, 0.1 PMSF, and 0.2 mM ATP) using a blender (Waring).

Brains in a blender? Cool.

Note to my reader(s): I was totally going to move away from the Steve Martin theme, but this was just too easy.

Torino: WTF?

2006-02-10T10:25:00.001-08:00

Everyone! Everyone! It's the Olympics! What excitement!

Oh, wait, the Winter Olympics? Never mind, that doesn't sound very exciting. Curling? Ice dancing?? Cross-country skiing while carrying a rifle??? WTF?

I, for one, would be more excited if the feature sports like ice skating featured hot women that were, say, older than 15. I just can't seem to get excited about 15-year olds in skin-tight leotards. That's probably a good thing. At least Michelle Kwan is legal.

Anyway, my favorite sports writer has a good column today about the "mood" of Torino:

Bode Miller, the official American magazine cover subject of the 2006 Winter Games, is not staying in the village because he doesn’t see it as a “healthy living environment.” This is a guy who slid down at a mountain at 80 mph while drunk.

Eventually, Joe does find the mood of Torino:

They haven’t exactly finished all the Olympic projects — like, you know, the subway — but the general feeling seems to be: “Hey, it’s too late to worry about that now. Let’s drink some wine and smoke.” In fact, that’s the mood here — “Let’s Drink Some Wine and Smoke.” There have been worse mottos.

Read what else Joe Posnanski has to say here.

Global Warming

2006-02-09T11:11:00.000-08:00

Life can be rough here in the City of Angels. Take today, for example:

Sunny 84°F
Feels Like 81°F

Maybe our long, harsh Southern Californian winter has finally broken (it is February, after all).

Days like today really make me wish the sub-basement had windows. Or wish that they would unshackle my chains and let me outside.

Rabbit Fur Coat

2006-02-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

Belated, I know. Last Thursday, Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley fame and her new-found friends the Watson Twins played Los Feliz's Vista Theatre (which actually is a movie theatre) in support of JL's solo project, Rabbit Fur Coat.

As usual, JL = hott. And, during the opening act, I had my brush with indie rock greatness when I walked by JL, who was hanging out at the back of the theatre, enjoying a Pacifico.

But what about the music, you ask? Quite a departure from the indie-pop of RK. Actually, it's got a country vibe, mixed with some gospel. Lots of simple, almost twangy guitar and soaring harmonies. To go with the country / gospel theme of the music, JL & the WT handed out "hymnals," presumably so you could sing along. Which might have happened if it weren't so dark in the Vista.

All in all, a great venue, a great show, one great singer.

The deflowering of Thermos

2006-02-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the inaugural post of my blog! In your honor, (singing) I'm picking out a thermos for you. Not an ordinary thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in. (end singing - thank God)

I'd like to claim that my blog will broaden your horizons, challenge your preconceptions, and stimulate your grey matter. But it probably won't. It will more likely just be random observations and meditations on the quotidian that is life in the City of Angels, ranging from the merely boring to the inane. Enjoy! Or don't.