The First World War... Recapitulated

This is simply too hilarious for all you indie music fans out there.

I freakin' love The Onion. Of course, I missed this news update originally. Props to The 15-minute hipster for tipping me off.

I (heart) Chernobyl

Another year, another birthday: today I turn the big 23 years old.

The downside: getting older doesn't seem any fun after 21.
The upside: I'm now the proud owner of Val Kilmer's t-shirt from Real Genius (when he interviews at Darlington):

And it's true: I do (heart) toxic waste.

Ernie the Taco Truck man already gave me a hard time at lunch: "You got some nerve coming to my truck saying you love toxic waste. What does that say about my food, man?"






I've wanted this shirt for a long time, so I was pretty stoked to receive it as a gift. What? You're jealous? Well then get your own at founditemclothing.com

Drinking the Kool-Aid

Sooner or later, we all want to drink the Kool-Aid:

Yes, I've finally joined the herd and got myself an iPod. Now, I can be just as toolish as everyone else when I conspicuously walk around town with the white earbuds. Wait, who am I kidding? No one walks in LA!

Actually, I'm quite excited about joining the toolish herd - I guess that's why everyone else already has one of these babies.

Thank God someone finally realized...

... the importance of men:
Seriously, enough of this "women are important, too" BS.

What? You say this poster is from the 1940's when it was acceptable to say that women weren't as important as men? And that it's no longer cool to say that in the 21st century? Oh.

Well, then I guess "women count, too." You heard it here first.

Scottish Indie Rock

So what's so great about Scottish indie rock? Well, there's a lot to love about the famous Belle & Sebastian, but mostly I love how I had no intention of going to this show.

Why not? Because a) I already saw them once at Coachella and b) tickets were frickin' expensive (like they always are at the Wiltern, especially after the Ticketmaster bend-me-over surcharge).

Yet somehow I ended up there. How? Well, when your friend S. calls you, so desperate to attend the show that she offers to buy you a $40 ticket to the show, just so she won't have to go alone, you just say "yes."

But the best part about Scottish indie rock? S., my aforementioned sugar mama for the evening, is dating a Scottish guy. Who refuses to attend Belle & Sebastian concerts. His loss! For the record, I did give S. $20 for the ticket, because that's honestly how much I would have paid for the show. Yes, I know - I am an incredibly giving person. (Giving myself a pat on the back.)

But how was the music, you ask? Well, the opening act was The New Pornographers, who besides having a great name, sing one of my favorite songs of 2004: "The laws have changed." And although I love that song, I must say, TNP was really pretty average. All the songs sounded pretty much the same live, and they really need to improve their interaction with the audience (Note: the lame Canadian jokes about universal health care should die.)

But the headliners were awesome. Seriously funny guys with great Scottish accents. And the band, with a mixture of two guitars, bass, violin, keyboards, percussion, and the occasional trumpet is busy yet well-balanced without being overbearing. And somehow, their songs seem like little poems that really strike a chord or evoke a mood with me, whether it be a note of happiness, excitement, naivete, or melancholy. Actually, I was surprised how much I liked the show given that they played none of my favorite songs, most of which come from Fold your hands, child, you walk like a peasant (incidentally, one of my all-time favorite album titles).

Honestly, however, my favorite part of the night was taking public transportation to the Wiltern. How's that for an LA moment?!?! Taking the metro is so rare that I felt pretty cool riding to the show...

That is so Long Beach

Saw this sale last week in Long Beach:

As if Long Beach wasn't dangerous enough. Now the streets are gonna be flooded with all the wannabe samurai gangstas!

Studs - 20.46 and 20.60 sec

Pop Quiz!
These two bald dudes, Sully (left) and Triebe are:
a) splashing around before getting down to some water aerobics
b) about to go all Brokeback on one another (I think Triebe is gonna slip him the tongue), or
c) celebrating the first ever national title for the WU Bears.

The correct answer is, of course, B. Wait... no, the correct answer is C. One-two in the 50 freestyle at D3 Nationals - who woulda thunk it when these two were skinny, callow freshmen? Congrats to them and BKSwim and all the other Bear swimmers.

A spot of 3rd month insanity

That's right, basketball fans... today is one of the two best days of the year: the round of 64. 32 games, some heart-stopping (please don't foul that dude behind the 3-point line, UNC-Wilmington), some heart-wrenching (why couldn't you beat Indiana, putting me in first place in my pool, San Diego State?), and some just downright boring (OK, we get it, UCLA, you're good. But did you have to go and crush Belmont? How about a little suspense?)

But two things about this year's tourney really jumped out at got my attention:
- David Pak of Utah State is a convicted rapist. Yes, that's right, he served 8 years in prison for rape (which explains why he is a 29-year old college senior). Wow. Would you want to play against this guy? He learned how to play ball in prison (where they probably don't call fouls real tight). Obviously, it's great that he's moved on from his mistakes and everything, but personally, I would not foul this guy hard, just in case his boys on the inside were watching on TV.

Also, how did he break it to his now wife that he once raped someone? And you thought that incident in high school where you put HCl in your chem teacher's coffee was hard to explain.

- Unintential Comedy: One of CBS' announcers this morning called this guy "Marcellas Wallace." Was he trying to say that Marcellas "looks like a bitch?" Someone has watched Pulp Fiction too many times. At last sighting, Ohio State was "trying to fuck him like a bitch."

And just remember, from the Sports Guy:

We've all made the joke about how the least likely person always ends up winning your office pool -- a secretary, a temp with 36D's, a janitor with a 12-letter first name -- mainly because it's true.

The Grove: Family-safe shopping?

I was strolling at the Grove a couple weeks ago, taking in the pseudo-European thoroughfare and riding on the fake trolley, when I noticed this:

Yeah, that's right - Hello Kitty. Shot in the head. And this is a family shopping area? As a bonus, this art store was next door to American Girl Place, so you can just envision the little girls happily clutching their dolls as they leave AGP, only to burst into tears when they see Hello Kitty dripping with blood. That's sick, people.

However, I did get pretty excited when the trolley almost ran this woman over:

As the trolley of death was bearing down, the trolley driver rang the bell, but he sure as hell didn't slow down! This woman was just strolling along, enjoying the sunshine, completely oblivious to the 10-ton trolley that was seconds away from crushing her. And the woman's husband? Well, he got out of the way, but he didn't seem too concerned about the trolley bearing down on his wife.

UPDATE: The trolley did not hit the woman. She was mercifully spared a Grove-tastic death.

This is... LA?

The weather lately has been a far cry from the sun-drenched, shorts-year-'round climate that I was promised before moving here. When the foothills were temporarily dusted with snow a couple weeks ago, I thought it was cool. Now, this cold, cold, and colder spell is just annoying. Particularly because apartments in LA are not designed for this type of weather, i.e. bad insulation, windows that don't seal, heating that doesn't really work. The thing is, we only notice all these problems about once every couple years.

And of course this weather has prompted hilarious stories in the LA Times. Here's my favorite quote, about some kids in La Crescenta, straight from the "no-shit!" department:

Dude, this is snow. Look how it melts in your hand, Ogando said.

Dude, kids in LA. So sheltered.

And damn, Slobodan, I told you a million times: Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Rifampicin before blood pressure medication, never been sicker. But you just didn't wanna listen.

Out and about online

I've been totally neglecting my baby recently. And by "baby," I mean "blog," because I certainly don't have any kids. That I know about, anyway.

So, for your enjoyment, here's what I've found interesting out there in internet-land recently:
- God's Senator: Would Jesus vote for Sam Brownback? I certainly credit Jesus with having more sense than that. Being a Kansas native, it's always interesting / disturbing to read about the freaks who represent my birth state in DC.
- The Herengracht, econo-douchebag Ed Glaeser (from Harvard, natch), and Why Minneapolis is cooler than Boston - if you're a real estate agent: For someone with no intention of buying real estate, not to mention no resources with which to do so, I'm strangely fascinated by these articles about the price of real estate. No, really, I swear these articles are interesting.
- China has too few people: Seriously. There are just not enough people in China.
- Chevon Hicks has the best idea for a new video game about LA. Best/worst comment about the game:

You start the game with a girlfriend, but as the popularity of [your] club soars you'll have to get rid of her.

And no, I have no idea who Chevon Hicks is, either.

Selling out

Now that I have logged posts numbering in the teens and readership numbering in the mid-to-low single digits, I've finally gone and done it: I've sold out.

Yes, I'm experimenting with Google Adsense, as you'll see from the banner. For some reason, I just couldn't resist. Now I'm in the internet advertising business! I've always wanted to be a dot com entrepeneur! I may start mentioning this when I'm trying to hit on the ladies, because I think it's pretty impressive.

Anyway, the agreement with Google says they only pay amounts greater than $10, and I fully expect that my blog will bring in, say, zero ad clicks. So, this Adsense thing is really more about me having fun than it is about supplementing my already enormous grad school stipend. But feel free to leave me praise or hate-comments about selling out to "the man."

Resident Tourist: The Getty Center

Thanks to a visit from my old friend A. and his ladyfriend S. last weekend, I visited one of my favorite LA spots (which I hadn't been to in a couple of years): the Getty Center.

Perched high above the 405, the architecture of the museum is the main attraction. The glorious white travertine and undulating surfaces, combined with gorgeous views of LA (when it's not smoggy), the building is awesome. A shining monument on a hill.

And the art?? Pretty good, too, but not incredible. They've got a pretty good exhibit on Courbet right now that I would recommend, and some of their permanent features are cool, but on the whole, the art collection isn't as good as somewhere like the Norton Simon.

But given that admission is free and parking is only $7, I'd highly recommend the Getty to anyone, resident or tourist, especially now during "winter," when you're more likely to avoid the smog and actually see the ocean.

Gary

The other day, I went to buy some hair products at my local salon (this is what California will do to you: I used to be a solid, grounded, midwestern type, and now I've become the guy who buys hair products). Anyway, the guy behind the counter mentioned that he cuts hair, too, and gave me his card:

Does that picture make you want to get a haircut from Gary? That dude is totally gonna cut your ear off, Van Gogh style. Gary scares me. He is the reason I haven't had a haircut in months.